Ibraham Bean of the future

Ibraham Bean loved turning back the clock. Not for the extra hour of sleep, but because with his prized collection of super antique wind up clocks he would have hours of work ahead of him setting back time. The one thing he still got to do by hand and without the help of a bot.

His collection of clocks went all the way back to his childhood in 2086 when his great grandfather nicknamed “Beta” Bean handed down his most cherished Austrian kuku clock. This was back when “countries” like Austria still existed, very unlike today when countries had turned into even smaller metropolises in the new era of every major city amputating into its own territory.

A throw back if you will to the olden times when Texas thought it should bud away from the United States into its own country. Well look what you started Texas. Now just about anyone could bud off their city into its own country. The country once known as New York City and now only referred to as Manhattan the country lead the way.

Ibraham Bean was a historian. He didn’t like how history hadn’t repeated itself this time. This new era of forming pacts and alliances with thousands upon thousands of individual mini countries really made it hard out there for the working man and woman. The world taking the old television shows of survivor a little too seriously.

In order to just commute to work via his speedster flying Vespa he has to pay a toll including a visa fee to go less than fifty miles from his pod, or for you old ninnies what would be considered a house, if it wasn’t so spherical and buoyant. Ibraham’s easy pass which somehow made its way through the years as the one and only easy access toll paying device company, showed a tally per day of over $450.00. As an accountant, reporting to computer based number crunching rude robots, Ibraham came to the realization that his commute cost more than his pod and taxes. He was already being taxed out the bot for living and breathing taxes.

As he made his way around his house turning back all 150 historic clocks it was time for him to get ready for work, which thank goodness the alert-bot reminded him of, he was so confused by the time he had wound all those clocks as to what time it really was. The clean bot found him and started preparing him for his morning routine without even finding out if he was indeed ready. No this clean bot meant business, and showed no mercy.

First it sucked away Ibraham’s pajamas which as you know in this age were tear-aways like all clothing, making it easier for the bots to do their thing, and for you the human to save precious time.  Ibraham was a bit chilled this morning on this fine July day with his pod knowing he preferred it this way. The bot read his body temperature and goose bumps and shot hot air at him in spurts to help him get over it momentarily until the uni-shower began. What is a uni-shower you ask? How are you reading this without knowing what a uni-shower is!?

The clean bot’s top selling gimmick is that it creates a cleaning mist that can happen literally anywhere, it blocks all private bits, and really cleans well using new technology cleaning mist agents, soaps and shampoos were so yester year. It’s all about the mist clean guarantee! It works for up to an hour even after it has ended. Check with your doctor bot before testing this product.

Now that Ibraham was nice and misty and wrapped in a Velcro-on towel his dress-me-bot appeared. It was the be-all end-all of ending your struggle with deciding what to wear. It did all of the thinking for you! And with just a small pinch here or there and the familiar sound of the Velcro coming apart and then being replaced by more Velcro Ibraham was dressed in the suit of the future! Which looked pretty similar to that of years ago for a middle manager position only, you may have guessed it, it used Velcro to fasten on.  Ibraham didn’t like the feeling of Velcro or of bots cleaning and dressing him. It made him feel strange and not in a good way. It had always been like this since his birth but it never sat well and constantly weighed on his mind. What is the point of saving a few minutes if I can feel less strange, he always thought.

It was time for Ibraham to throw on his oxygen helmet, required by law when outside of your pod, and hopped on his Vespa. He turned on last night’s season ending shocker of Dallas 2.0 where there is rumor that Bobby Ewing may actually succeed against the bad guy and let the vespa drive for him. Yet another perk of the future. As he was really getting into this episode a flash commercial popped into his helmet.

“Ever wonder what it would be like to live past? Well now you can! We at Virgin Atlantic have perfected time travel to go back. If you, or a loved one, are just not having a good time with all of these robots, this is the answer for you. If you want to go to our web simulation click here with your mind.” And sure enough Ibraham did.

By the time he arrived at work, Ibraham had purchased his ticket, and rented out his pod. His stuff was being packed by the moving-bots already. He would be getting on a transporter this very evening. He had been waiting for this his whole life.

At work it was business as usual, as Ibraham is the only human in the company other than the CEO and VPs who never had to go to work, and collected the big money all the same. This didn’t stop Ibraham from telling every single bot that he went past all about what he had just signed up for. Does not compute was the only response he got. He was used to this. It happened every time he tried to have a conversation with these tin walls of silence.

He ate his lunch by himself for the last time, watching the bots shut down and plugged in for their lunch time reboot. His lunch pills seemed even sadder than usual. He fondly recalled his great grandfather’s stories of lunch meat and sliced cheese. Cheese, a constant favorite for Ibraham to hear about. He could not wait to go back in time to when all of these things existed. A time where people spoke directly to each other in person and didn’t use technology so much. He had signed up to go back to the early 1900’s, which is okay because he had had his millennia shots.

Ugh, his stomach was going crazy. He shouldn’t have had that extra pill helping of cheesecake. What was he thinking, the pill seemed so small, but expanded thusly in his stomach. Every time, Ibraham thought.

After collecting his money via his iphone500 for the rent upfront for the year from his pod, and vespa sale, he said farewell to his vespa, and hopped onto the transporter. Oddly enough he noticed a lot of recycling and garbage being loaded on underneath the transporter. I wonder why the past needs this garbage and recycling that we have been promised is always reused unlike ever before. Hmm. Maybe they will share this technology with the past so that we can maybe save the planet in a way that would let people breath air outside of their pods…

He thought a fond fair well to this horrible place he had called home all his life. The sting of the air had made his hands bright red, he had forgotten to put on his safety gloves before leaving work today, in all of his excitement.

The countdown began. He was happy to see that other human beings were also on this transporter. Mostly really old people, but a really sweet looking woman who may be just a tad younger than him was also settling into her seat. Around her neck she wore a necklace with a small sprocket on it. As he gained enough courage to try to speak to her, he hadn’t spoken directly to another human since his father passed away two decades earlier, the safety hoods came down and blocked him in a big way. The countdown ended and they were shot into the past faster than the speed of light!

Awoken hours later, Ibraham did not like the shaking feeling the transporter was causing him. Something must be wrong he thought. Maybe it is turbulence like he had watched about in the safety manual video the hood displayed early. Turbulence only happens in the past!

Crash landing later, the transporter in tatters, Ibraham crawled out of the wreckage afraid for his life, afraid that the air would burn off his skin. The air, although a bit cloudy, did not sting his face. He coughed because of smoke from the crash. But this air was clean! He must have made it. He was alive. He was back in the 1900- what is that sound? A weird loud noise was approaching him. Flashing lights were getting closer. Oh no, he feared!

Sir are you okay, a human wearing weird clothing asked, not wearing a helmet like was custom.

What year is this, Ibraham asked.

This is 1984 sir. Replied the strange human being. He hadn’t made it. He was stuck in 1984. Luckily he had heard all good things about it while watching historical video documentaries about this decade. He was disappointed, but happy to be alive. He wasn’t sure he could really get into the flock of seagulls or pull off their hair. But hey he would make the most of it. And stay away from the white powder which ruined so many careers. Most of the passengers under the age of 90 had made it also . Some had passed away on the flight even before the crash. And all of the garbage and recycling was spread all over the place.

Don’t worry about the mess sir, we have this awesome landfill we use, said a different strange human.

The woman with the sprocket was being transported out by humans. It was a sight to be seen. She was knocked out but looked alright. There were no bots of any size. There were bright colors, radical hair styles, and unnecessary sunglasses, but absolutely no bots! His broken clocks were strewn all around him, frozen in time. Part of his package included free lodging, his very own house. He wondered how his contract would work out in 1984 and what house he would be able to rebuild all of his clocks in. The woman was being put into a, no it cannot be, an actual non flying automobile!

“I’m with her,” Ibraham lied, for the first time in his life. He didn’t know anyone here, and likely neither did she, so why not do the old fashioned buddy system until they figured things out.